I’m struggling with how to be a good parent. I know my boys are great little boys but I just don’t know if I am doing the best for them, I try my hardest to be a great role model for Spencer and Patrick but I sometimes get nervous and anxious that I am failing them. I know that I’m doing the best job raising my children. I wish that they came with a instruction manual like when you buy a trampoline or bike and you have to follow the instructions to get it right but alas when becoming a parent it’s up to you on how you raise them.
I’m trying to parent just like my parents did with me and my sisters, but put my spin on their parenting style, I think it’s working out for my partner and I when trying to raise amazing gentlemen who can get to where they are headed in life by being lovely and generous people, and not arrogant towards others as being arrogant doesn’t get anyone very far in life or have many friends.
I feel that parenting is this: taking our morals and showing them that being a nice, caring, loving, helpful, accommodating, generous, well mannered and just a absolutely pleasure to be around this is the person that you want to achieve to become. These people are lovely to be around as they know how to treat others just like you want to be treated because if you treat people with disrespect they often disrespect you and choose not to be your friend.
Parenting is a hard but rewarding job, I just don’t know how to discipline them without being to hard and strict. I have tried smacking way but it reminds me to much of my childhood and I don’t think that’s my way of disciplining the boys, I am trying to get down to their level and talk to them about what they have just done that is wrong and not very nice way to treat your brother. Let’s try to be nice and generous to our brother and other children or adults as you will get further with being a nice little person than a mean or disrespect little person.
My partner and I are going to go and listen to to Steve Biddulph with his information session on “Raising Boys” to get some more information on parenting boys and to see if what I’m doing now is the right thing, or to change something within my parenting style. I’m very open to learning more about parenting and how to be better at being a parent. I really like researching how I can become a better and hands on parent so that I raise good children. I really love being a mum and even more a twin mum. So much more rewarding than I thought it would be.
The 4 parenting Styles:
I have just learnt that there are 4 types of Parenting which are
1. Authoritarian Parenting Style
*Low self esteem
*In fear of doing the wrong thing
* Have to follow orders or they get in trouble
2. Permissive Parenting Style
+ Becomes a rebel
+ low persistence with challenges
+ shys away from difficulties in school at home
3. Uninvolved/Neglectful Parenting Style
# Difficultly forming relationships
# Trust issues
# Doesn’t Get along with others
4. Authoritative Parenting Style
• Open communication
• More independent
• Social acceptance
I feel like my parenting style is number 4.
When I think of discipline I think of Smacking and sending them to bed with no dinner. I feel like discipline has changed since I was a child. It seems to be more talking and asking what they are feeling and why they feel like that. It’s about giving them choices and following up with consequences if they don’t do what you have asked of them, repeat and don’t give in your the parent and they will abide by your rules if not consequences occur.
You also need to be the role model that you want your children to become when they are grown up and growing up. Explain what you as a parent want your children to become and be like. Always praise positive behaviour as it shows them that if they continue to be on their best behaviour then they are praised and rewarded. Always be around so your children can always ask you their worries and concerns, but always allow independence as they need to work out issues by themselves before asking for help.
I can wait to learn more and watch the boys grow up into well mannered gentlemen just like I taught them from a very young age what was right and what was wrong. I am very impressed with how my boys are growing up and now they are starting to listen and learn more and more each and every day. I love watching them learning new things every day.